((FacingMyPast)),

I am sorry you have been dealing with so many triggers and flashbacks. I know how challenging it is. You need to realize that triggers and flashbacks mean something, tell a story that you need to talk out and sort through.

I always thought that we experience things and find our way through them and they are over. That is what most people believe and insist on. However, that isn't true, our brain stores/remembers everything, everything that is hard or emotionally challenging too. If a person has a lot of challenges in their past, they are more vulnerable to developing PTSD.

When PTSD takes place we slowly start re-experiencing things we didn't realize we stored the way we did. It is important to remember these thing were in the past and not now, even if they feel like they are "now". These events were never processed correctly, and the brain stores them in different areas, not always areas that have language to them either. Every trigger means something that you need to take time and figure out and talk out with someone who listens and can help you work through them and validate you as much as you need it.

I know it can be exhausting, me too, but you need to have patience with it just as you would any serious injury that needs to be addressed and time to heal from. It is not your fault you struggle, so never self blame, as you keep patient and work through it you will slowly gain and the flashbacks will get weaker and weaker to just a processed memory that doesn't bring on the emotional and physical challenges.

I deal with it one day at a time, that is really all you can do, and make sure you have a place you can go to rest where no one bothers you. Yes, it is hard on families, but your family should talk to your T so they can slowly learn how to support you when you struggle. It is harder when the family is not supportive or makes comments that are not helpful while you are working on your healing. Yes, living with someone struggling with PTSD can be like walking on eggshells, even for the one suffering. But with the right support for the whole family, it can go better.

One day at a time....self soothing and self care while you take time to sort it out.

((Hugs)))
OE