Hi Soccerdad,

At the moment you are sitting on the fence and holding the lives of the two women and your 3 girls, in your hands. You have to make an informed decision and soon. First put the mistress to one side and talk to your wife. Tell her you are thinking of leaving as things are not any better between you. Try counselling again if she agrees and see how it goes, but do not see this other woman again until you sort out your marriage once and for all.

You will have to make financial arrangements for your wife and children and give up the marital home. Can you afford this? Can you afford to run two homes?

If you do decide to leave your wife do it because you no longer love her. Not because you love someone else. Then when single you can start again with the new lady. Will she be happy living with you while you support another household. Will she be happy forgoing children of her own, a nice house, holidays, new clothes etc, because you are having to keep your first family?

You have a great deal of talking to do with your wife, solicitors and then your girls, before you leave for a new life.

Its a hard decision and you must always remember your girls will be the ones who suffer, whatever your choice.