Don't be so hard on yourself, and btw, I hope you didn't think I was unduly harsh as that was not my intention.

Consider it 'lesson learned'. Obviously, 'someone' (god, Buddha whatever) must have plans for you, as well as her. There really isn't anything you can do now, as you know, so try to move on and just accept what is. I know that's not easy....but beating yourself up daily won't make it any easier.

Take care.