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sunrise said:
I have a question for everyone who has a strong attachment to their T. Is being strongly attached to T the same as transference? Or are they two separate psychotherapy phenomena? If they are separate, do they always go hand in hand? Like if you have a strong attachment, does that necessarily mean you are also experiencing transference? Or can you be strongly attached with no transference?

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Sun, my T asked me the same question last session! I was complaining about attachment and transference, and he asked me if I thought attachment could occur without transference. I almost said no because at first I was thinking about it really narrowly-- I was assuming that I must have been transferring my attachment for someone else, onto him. But who? Then I realized that with attachment, you don't have to be transferring a specific......................................

Ok. He just called again. He doesn't have any available appointments left this week, but he told me we can either do a phone session or I can just call him tomorrow to let him know how I'm doing, if I need to. He made me feel okay that I called. I told him what an idiot I feel like what I call him. He asked what's going on and I told him how I've been impulsively spending, and even signed up for another credit card (very bad idea, but I couldn't stop myself). I told him I've been feeling horribly agitated and I've been doing things like spending money, hoping it will make the feeling go away. Then he used his sense of humor, which I love "Well, would you want to pay me more? Would that help?" I couldn't help but laugh. I started telling him how since settlement is tomorrow, now is the time, more than any other time in my life, to get my crap together, and be responsible with my money. But instead I'm paying my bills late (even though I have enough money to pay them), signing up for credit cards, and spending. I should feel happy, I said... I'm buying a house. I think I'm sabotaging myself--- and once I said that, T said that he felt that I just got a very good handle on what's going on, and that we have a lot to talk about. He said that I made a very appropriate connection there, and the next (much harder) step is to talk about it so I can stop the behavior. I told him that I was so glad that I came to this realization while I was talking to him because normally I don't even know why I call him, and after the phone call is over I feel like a complete idiot, and just want to die. He told me not to die, that it wouldn't be a good idea. And to call tomorrow if I need to.

Sorry, about that interjection. What I had wanted to say is that we become attached to our Ts through the transference of not just specific relationships, but the transference of our general patterns. So in conclusion, I believe attachment and transference go together.