Hi,

I got sober about 13 months ago and have been married 6 years. My husband is what I would call a functioning alcoholic. It's funny bc I joined AA to prevent divorce. I was smoking a ton of weed which my husband hated and blacking out at all functions. But I stayed in AA for myself, 30 years of drug abuse is exhausting.

So, now my husband acts like I can't do anything right and he's hateful. He has called me an AA fanatic, self-absorbed, and grills me on if I have walked everyday. I'm feeling so insecure and his attitude just makes me feel worse about myself. I do not want drugs in my life, but I will say that things were a lot easier. In recovery, I have gained a lot of weight, been to the psych ward twice, and made the mistake of nagging my husband for drinking and smoking cigarettes.

I could see where he thinks I'm moving on with my life and judging him for his lifestyle. He is also not included in AA where I've made a lot of friends and go to events as well as meetings. He doesn't not support my sobriety; he drinks and smokes outside and not in front of me. He also has said that AA and my sponsors are helpful.

Right now my meds need to be changed because the Seroquel and AP's in general are horrible for my health, and I just found out I'm in menopause. I am going through a ton of crap and worry that he is going to leave bc I'm too high maintenance. In the first years of our marriage I was a totally different person; I used to love to play music and dance around the house plus I always had people over to party. I'm just not that person anymore and I wouldn't change that for anything as I'm very dead set on sobriety. But right now it's hard to get out of bed with my hormones out of whack. Also, people in general think hey you got out of the psych ward so you're cured.

Has anyone else felt a big disconnect in their marriage over getting sober? I feel like he takes me for granted because I'm a burden.

Tnt