Yes, a lot of us really do know how you feel! You are not alone, and there certainly is help.

If I can share something with you...it might be triggering though.
I have survived more suicide attempts than I can count. Been to the psych hospital many times. Been on many different meds. And now I see my T twice a week. Counseling and the right meds have changed my life. Even though everything is certainly not perfect right now, I am still very very glad that I survived every one of those attempts at taking my life. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be here to encourage you right now. And to tell you that there is another side.

It may not feel like it right now, but you are NOT alone. We are here for you, and you WILL make it through this!!