((FacingMyPast)),

This is a good question. You were doing something important to you when you were typing a post. You also "needed" to do that for yourself. Also, with PTSD remember, everything is magnified, including concentration and deep focus. So, when your husband called out to you, he interrupted you, that is "invading your space". That is why you reacted in anger at him "got snappy". Yes, you don't want to apologize because you are still angry and he still invaded your space, that how your mind is reacting, that is what can happen with PTSD. It is part of the eggshells I talked about in your thread, I think it was your thread.

That "invading of space" is an important one to remember because that is when the typical "anger" reaction takes place. Then you walked away right? That is also connected to the anger, the way you have described the event, to me doesn't sound like you had the flight response, to me it was all anger and distancing from your husband, but in anger. You distancing that way is how you tend to punish sometimes, you get away from me.

When PTSD is active and the person doesn't quite understand it all yet, that anger reaction can be a very quick response where you don't really decide to be angry, it just comes out first in a kind of "reverse" from the conscious mind making the decision. That anger reaction is very much like a flashback, you can't seem to stop it, it just has to run it's course and you don't get a chance to really "consciously" think about it until "after" it runs it's cycle.

It is important to realize that this anger means "you were invaded in some way". Going back to what happened, you were engrossed in posting and concentration on what you were writing, "sudden surprised unexpected intrusion by your husband", that was a sudden intrusion that made you snap. That is how "sensitive" PTSD can be for a while until you have had time to work some things out.

Also, what others around you do not understand is what you are experiencing is very "hard" to understand and can require a lot of concentration. Your "conscious" mind is confused right now and is beginning to see things that the average person cannot see. The average person is not really "aware" of their subconscious mind, it is there but kind of behind a door they don't even realize is there. With PTSD that door is open and it is showing you things you didn't know were there, and you want your outside world to be quiet so you can figure out what this new door is all about.

It is not unusual for some people in the early stages of PTSD to see this door and find it very enlightening. Some people react with "wow, this is surreal, I never knew this, even, I am going to write a book about this. This has been described as sparks of light, because most likely when people have been observed in this state, they will light up and have these epiphanies.

Well, that is fine until the darker things start showing up from behind that door too, then it can get scary and that is when the person struggling gets very self absorbed. It is not unusual for a person in this stage to be misdiagnosed as narcissist, however, someone who "knows" about PTSD will recognize it as a part of the bigger problem that is not narcissistic, not bipolar cycles, not Histonic, not just depression, but PTSD.

Oh, how I wish my family was told all of this so they would not react badly when I was engrossed, they disturbed me and I reacted badly. It was not intentional, I had a big puzzle going on that I could not even put into words to describe, and believe me I tried many times.

Anyone can look up PTSD and see a list of symptoms. But what is not being described is "why" these symptoms are happening, what it is like from the inside. Even when someone is diagnosed, the person can look up the symptoms and not really understand "why" either. After working through it, and having therapy to discuss the different things coming from this "now exposed subconscious", the person starts to understand it better and begins to start "gaining" on it.

So, the "anger" is usually, an intrusion, an invasion, an invalidation, telling the PTSD person to get over it or to "just". People with PTSD "hate the just comments" big time.

The truth is "everyone has subconscious skeletons" but what they do is just shove them aside and think they are over with, in the past, done ,when in reality they are all still there. And what most people do is ignore them, they may be out of sight, but they are not truly out of mind. This is why spending time with someone struggling with PTSD actually can expose the person exposed to developing secondary PTSD.

I think it is important to do your best to set aside times where you can have your own space. If you need to spend time here for example, posting and talking things out, then your family needs to understand "not" to disturb you. There are times where you will need space to think about the things you have been seeing behind that door that others just don't see and don't understand.