Quote:
Originally Posted by Chartres
I was sexually abused by my father for years as a child. I have also had thoughts about how incest is different than being raped once by a stranger or acquaintance. That is NOT to diminish the trauma of that type of rape, but being raped by someone in a position of authority who is supposed to love and take care of you IS different, in my opinion. If I were raped in college by another student, no one would expect me to have dinner with my rapist ever night.
I think college sexual assault gets more publicity because there is a sense that something can be done about it - better campus lighting! Rape awareness classes! Safe-walk programs! Plus, colleges have a huge financial interest in portraying their campuses as safe. To some extent campus rape is a public matter of concern because in theory it could happen to anyone.
Incest, on the other hand, is typically seen as a family matter, one that is usually denied altogether. Victims have no campus police to report it to, no peer counselling, no "take back the night" rallies. And yes, you are right about the whole betrayal aspect - I do think this is different between your "average" campus rape and repeated childhood incest. Again, not to diminish the impact of campus rape - but incest has its own special layer of trauma.
Im concerned about your therapist saying that you are handling this so well that you dont need to talk about it. That sounds dismissive. As far as your friend's comments, in my experience people who have never experienced incest and gone through the healing process usually have no idea what to say and simply dont know what it is like. The suggestion to look for resources on RAINN is a good one and you can also might want check out the book Courage to Heal.
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Full heartedly agree to this.
Like you I am not dismissing college or rape In general but a lot of what is publiszied is in situations that people believe can be controlled like you said extra lighting cameras or awareness groups.
Seems like no one wants to approach the subject of incestual rape, maybe if it was more widely known about and more people where aware of it then more victims would be able to speak out.
I know for the longest time I felt like I was the only person on the planet dealing with this especially as a child and teenager and until the internet became a lot more informative too be quite frank.
As messed up as it is too say I felt some ease knowing that I wasn't the only one and maybe just maybe if I had those resources as a young teen I'd have come forward or at least seeked some form of anon help.