I'm usually high functioning and can hide most of it but yesterday I started hallucinating again and that hasn't happened for years.

I've been really sick, sinus infection and bronchitis so bad I sound like a herd of walrus in heat. (Please forgive the whining) but it's hard to handle even when I feel physically well. I've been sick for six week because some power tripping bit** VA doc would not give me antibiotics.

I should have been in the hospital weeks ago but did't have a roommate yet and no one to take care of my angel kitty boy. Don't care about the rest of it but if I lost my books and ms's I really would take the high dive.

I hallucinated a lot before getting on meds, but I think it is just the stress of the past year that has pushed me so close to another psychotic break.
So I just hide in my room and read and play on the comp. I've got eight days to heal-no appointments. I feel safe in my room.

Is this something anyone else has experienced? It's not that I'm apathetic, just so run down. Do you think that might be causing it? And when I hallucinate, (visual, not auditory) I mumble and say things that make no sense to anyone but me.

I won't bore you with the list of horrible thigs that have happened in the past ten months-I've already written about some of it. I'm not counting pills or anything (my pre-suicide ritual) but I feel like if things don't calm down I am heading for a bad ending.

All the loigical, practical and tender words you all have given me so far has helped tremendously and I thank you for that. But I would really appreciate some opinions on this and perhaps some wise words to help me keep my head above water. T&S