OE, yes I am not grieving losing my ex, but I am hurting for things that I had to witness him going though. Even though he turned into a pig, or I came to see the real him, I did love him at that time and he like no one else deserved to go through what he had to.

And you are right, I am grieving for the loss of what I had hoped to have. It sucks. It is going to be even harder to see this every week, every time I drop my boy to their home. But at the end of the day, is there any point dwelling? What is that saying...... We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned for ourselves in order to have the life that is waiting for us.

Yes, I have switched to invalidating myself, to telling myself to just get on with it. At least now I see it. I just have had enough of feeling bad right now....so I will bury my head in the sand for a little while and pretend none of this is happening. At least until I try to sleep tonight, then who knows what will happen! Ugh

Thanks for the support OE. Surely I don't deserve it.