Hi Fuzzy, you're right, here is a "safe place" for you. So talk about anything you need to/want to/that will help you, we're right here for you. And if we can help you just a bit with gradually numbing down those urges............because you so don't deserve to be feeling this way. You're not, not, not a horrible person and there are so many people on here who care about you (me included!!).
Alison