Today actually has some 'ups' to it.

Ups: Today me and my brother walked ten miles to the farm. I managed to get the duck eggs I like so much, sausages for my grandparents, pork belly for Friday's dinner, quail and mallard stu for tonight's dinner and a raspberry tart as a tasty treat. All of this trip out went off without a hitch and healthy unprocessed food is now in the flat for a change.

Downs: After my brother had an argument with my dad over the phone on Friday night and my name was mentioned in it I turned off my mobile to prevent my dad from phoning me and having a go at me. I was too paranoid to turn on my phone until after the trip up to the farm today, having learned yesterday that my dad has gone on holiday with his horrible fiance. I had a voice mail message from the early intervention team. They're sending over one of their staff members and this doctor person. I froze listening to that voice mail. They've never sent one of their doctors over before. It's always been social workers and assessors. I could be getting answers. I've been waiting for so long now. And I could be posting on another part of the forum as well as this for support on stuff that freak me out. And yet, I'm terrified. I'm afraid of what will become of me. I feel like breaking down and crying.