Hi,
sometimes, people around us are very toxic. What worked for me in the past was to get my economic self-sufficiency. Once I had my own money and I could make decision on my own life things changed for me. It was very difficult because I have a severe physical disability, but at the end I could make it. I do not know if this is your case, Elektra, so I apologize if what I am saying is stupid or does not have anything to do with your status.
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ClaraHope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel
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