Depression is really just anger turned inwards. Hurting other people when you are angry isn't acceptable in this society, so instead of striking outwards, you strike inwards. Some people do beat people up when they are angry, but they wind up in jail. Instead, you cut. At worst, you wind up in the psych ward, though my guess is that you try to hide what you did. After the initial relief, you feel shame and depressed.

Of the two, cutting yourself carries with it less immediate consequences ie you aren't arested, but the punishment for cutting is more depression and the feeling that you have lost control. Sometimes the punishment we dish out on ourselves is much greater than the punishment others give us or that we deserve.

You really need to talk to someone. Preferably someone who understands and works with others that cut. Would it surprise you that some psychologists do the same thing? Not nearly as many of them do it than us because part of becoming a therapist often requires the person undergoing psychotherapy themselves. The reason is two fold. First, to be a good therapist, you can't become emotionally involved. That would be damaging to the therapist, and secondly, they need to know what it feels like to have someone probing around in their heads, asking personal questioned.

At any rate, find someone you are comfortable with. The sooner you can be treated, the less likely cutting is going to become a habit that can't be controlled.

sam2