Like many people on here, I have been struggling with anxiety & depression for years. It started in my late teens and I have been hospitalized and gone through out-patient treatment programs. I have been seeing a therapist since I was first diagnosed, but I feel like it really hasn't helped. I have been on medication for about 7 years, which I think has helped.

At 37 I feel like life has just passed me by. I just watch life from the sidelines. No one in my life seems to understand how miserable I am since I seem to be fairly high-functioning at the moment. I get up every day and go to my job.

My personal life is almost non-existent. I don't have a strong support system. Most of my friends are married, have families, and have their own issues. My own family just makes my depression worse. And I haven't had a solid relationship in about 7 years.

People tell me to go out and do stuff, but I just can't muster up the interest. I just want to stay in my hole. I hate socializing and find it exhausting. I'm trapped in my own head; ruminating about everything.

All I ever wanted is my own family and now I see that it is probably not going to happen. I don't even know what I am trying to say. I am just so sad and lonely all the time and it's so painful.