I am glad your responded and are enjoying the discussion. I am too. I was waiting for you. lol
As far as your last response I don't see depression, BPD, Big Polar, and addiction as really any different. All are diseases or disorders depending on a lot of different factors. In my view if someone has an addictive personality (see other threads) they have a disease the same as clinical depression. We probably disagree on that. The DSM 5 which the psychiatric community uses to come up with diagnosis, says addiction is a disorder.

I will take it in chunks.
You are absolutely correct. My boss, my wife, my parents, my friends had been telling me for years to get sober. I totally made the decision with my own free will. In a sense I feel it was forced because for me I was at an extreme bottom, but I could have chosen to keep using. Many people do in the same boat. So it was under my own free will that I chose to call a treatment center. Our definition of powerless is different. To me I was powerless because I needed help. Under my own free will no way could I get and stay sober. I could not get and stay sober under my own power therefore I was powerless. I needed outside help. To me it is that simple. I quit many many times under my own power but I could not stay quit. Not for very long. Longest ever was 6 months and I was smoking pot. I tried many many times sincerely and honestly under all the will power I could muster and no way I could do it. So in a sense I needed a power greater than myself to get and stay sober. My own power wasn't going to get me to stay sober for any serious length of time. Getting outside help is tapping into a power greater than yourself even if it is just human power. There is strength in numbers. A bunch of people working toward the same goal has tremendous power. The total power is not equal to the sum of its parts. There is more power in total than adding up each individual. So I have made my point.

I will not tell you it has to be God intervening in your life to gain power. Many atheist do it. People do it in lots of ways. For me I needed a power greater than myself is all I know.

Let me tell you how it happened. The moment I made the decision to call that treatment center and even before I called, I experienced a huge psychic shift. I felt a total sense of relief. I was filled full of hope where I had none previously. I knew I was really going to get help and I stood a good chance. Many in AA will say I had a spiritual experience. I don't know about that. I do know that ever since that moment it has not been hard to stay sober. Maybe the obsession was removed at that moment I do not know. You might argue that since I made that decision and experienced a psychic shift that I could have stayed sober on my own. No way. I needed all the help I could get and jumped in head first and have been clean and sober for 19 years since. That is called lasting sobriety.

On that moment - I am not religious and I don't think God puts his finger in and intervenes in our lives. Answers some prayers and not others. I do however believe that there is a whole lot to this universe that we cannot comprehend with our senses. There is such a thing as a sixth sense. Some people have it more than others. I have gotten glimpses in states beyond the normal senses. My belief is that there is a power that with our free will and the help of others we can tap into. There are many bizarre aspects to the universe. Maybe when you practice meditation and mindfulness to avoid intrusive thoughts you are tapping into this power.

I am kind of a physics and quantum physics buff. The theories quantum physics and string theory are coming up with will blow your mind and shake all your perceptions of reality. An oldie but goody is Bells Theorem of Non Locality. Einstein called it spooky action at a distance. Einstein did not believe in quantum theory and famously said "God does not play dice with the universe."

So one example- it has always been believed that no two objects can communicate with each other faster than the speed of light. The cosmic speed limit. Quantum mechanics has proven that an event here in say Kansas can instantaneously effect the outcome of an event in say China. How is that possible? yet in the world of quantum mechanics it is experimentally proven.

Another one is the famous Schrodingers cat. Events do not become reality until they are observed. There is no such thing as and objective experiment. Everything depends on the experimenter, the device, how it was designed....how we choose to look at it. The old - does a tree falling in the woods make a sound if no one is there to see it. At the quantum level it does not make a noise until it is observed. How is that possible? yet in the world on quantum mechanics it is experimentally proven.

There are others and some bizzare theories about multi universes and all kinds of stuff.

My whole point here is that we only have a very tiny perception of reality. Very little understanding of the universe. You can't really say that there are not unknown powers and forces at work in the universe.

So this power I believe exists may lie within us or it may lie without. I believe it permeates everything. Lets say it lies within me. How am I to access it to change who I am. To change my reality. To beat depression. If it lies within me it is my power. Its a paradox. I believe we cannot access it without the help of others in some way. Life is a We game not an I game. All parts of the universe work together not independently. This forum is a great example. We get help here we would never get on our own. I can't prove it. It is beyond my understanding and comprehension. I have had glimpses. It is my belief based on my experience and the experience of others and a lot of reading.

A lot for your initial question but that is how I view it. More later.