It was suggested that I post this here in this forum to see if anyone thinks this sounds familiar..does this sound like it may be Asperger's ?

Hi, I am new at this so here goes...
I am the mother of three children. They are all wonderful kids but my middle child, who is now 20 years old, has struggled through life and I can't seems to find the help he needs. He has always been a bit of a loner although he does enjoy the company of friends at times. He hates crowds, hates line ups, has major anxieties and what seems like depression. He has not been able to hold a job, does not drive as he can't deal with all the other vehicles on the road, or people in those vehicles. He does not seem to have any goals in life, at least not ones that keep his interest for more than a day or two, and cannot deal with anything that gets thrown at him ( anything out of the ordinary, or even in the ordinary).
He is a master at showing people the 'normal' side when he is out amongst anyone other than the immediate family but in he privacy of our home he lets it all out. He gets extremely angry over the smallest things ( dropping something on the floor warrants a major bout of extreme swearing and throwing of other things), he takes things that people say or do very personally, to the point that he thinks about it for days, even weeks, even if it was not directed at him specifically. He punishes himself by not allowing himself to do things that he may enjoy if he thinks he does not deserve it.
I could go on and on....
I have FINALLY convinced the family Dr to refer him to a psychiatrist. So far, after two appt's I am not impressed! They are treating him for depression with meds. My son came to me today, two months into taking them mad telling me that he doesn't think they are working and broke into tears.
I have been doing some of my own research on the internet (I know you have to be very careful with that) but I am wondering if he is dealing with Asperger's syndrome. He has many, many of the symptoms. And how do I bring this thought forward to the psychiatrist?
I am soooo frustrated with the medical community up to this point! My son shows them one side and I tell them what we see at home. But because he presents himself so well outside of the house no one believes me therefore the rest of my family and I are dealing with all the emotional fallout at home. My daughter moved out at the age of 18 because she couldn't deal with it anymore ( he pulled a knife on her at one point in one of his rages...for which he felt very bad about later, but, the emotional damage is done). My younger son took some physical beatings from him until I found out about it and let him know that in no uncertain terms will it be allowed to happen again.
He cannot keep friends because he is so intense. He has one sided conversations with us that can last for literally hours. He doesn't even seems to realize that we are not a part of the conversation at all. He just keeps going...
I need help! I need someone to hear me! I just need someone to understand...