So I just wrote a long post explaining how horrid a place I am in tonight...spiralling into anxiety,fear and avoidance thoughts that I can not stop. And what happens....the post suddenly disappears!!! I did something obviously and it all got wiped!!!

This just adds to my anxiety right now.

Does anyone else find that something fairly small can suddenly start a huge reaction? No matter what I do, tell myself that things are not as bad as I think and try to not believe all of the awful things I am thinking about myself....I still find myself having dark thoughts and reverting straight back to self destructive habits. Ugh!!

I am soo anxious my body aches now from being soo tense, I can't imagine sleep will come soon. In fact I feel like I may throw up! I really am trying to breathe and self soothe.....pfft!

I want to hide in my room, not go back to university tomorrow after our break, not see any people, not have anyone talk to me, and especially not have to talk about myself!!

I guess I have been having a tough time lately and this was too much for my little brain to take?

Anyone else find this sort of thing happens suddenly and so overwhelmingly? Why? (siiiiiigh, sorry to vent)