I don't think you sound self-indulgent, Curiosity. I'm sorry you have such a hard time with your birthday too.

I did eventually pull myself out of it enough to let my fiance take me out for my birthday and pretend to be happy for my parents, since everyone was so clearly trying to make me happy. My fiance really is amazingly devoted to me--when I was too depressed to get out of bed he laid down with me and tried to make me feel better. He never gets irritated or mad at me like so many others describe their partners doing.

So the day wasn't a total loss, even if it wasn't exactly what I'd dreamed.