"I just don't deserve to ask for his help. It is something so insignificant in the big scheme of things, that I do not have the right to ask for support."

You know that isn't true on an intellectual level. It's just the PTSD raging, making you emotionally vulnerable to it's ravages.

You have the same "right" or "deserve" it as much as anyone or everyone.

I don't believe that any human being is "undeserving" of anything UNLESS they have done something to abrogate their right or privilege. A cold-blooded murder doesn't "deserve" freedom because he/she did something to abuse the right.

You haven't done anything, ever, to void your right to happiness. Nor did you "deserve" any of the things you have gone through that left you so traumatized.

Trust me, been there, done that, just a few months back. I guess I'm just in a much better place now, because I can look back at amazement over how truly bad I felt about myself, and about how I felt I didn't deserve anything good, or worse, that I deserved the bad things that came into my life.

"depression is an awful thing that tells all sorts of lies" - that's a good line, and a good thing to remember. Thanks for that one, Pegasus, it's aptly put.