(((Jane))),

I am so sorry that I didn't see your posts this morning. (((Hugs)))

Mowtown is right, this is a stage of PTSD that happens, and the feeling that it should not be so hard or should not be so important and that you are doing something wrong in needing is also what happens. Those are internal lies and I know it's hard, but you need to take time outs and do extra self soothing to help yourself relax as much as you can.

I promise you will get past this stage and I know it is very challenging, but don't listen to the lies that you don't deserve help, because you "do" deserve support ok? I have experienced everything you are saying word for word, and so have others and Mowtown was really struggling too for a while, but this "will" pass, but yes it socks.

Remember (((Jane))) you are not alone, we are real people that do understand what you are dealing with and we are here for you ok? You are going to get past this part, you need to be patient with yourself and do not "self punish", but even though it feels like you should, do not feed into that, but choose to do self soothing and self care instead.

You may need some medication to help you through this part, perhaps ask your T about it?

Anyway, vent as much as you need to, "we get it" and really want to support you.

Also, as far as your losing that post you spent so much time on, I have had that happen too, it is very triggering when that happens. Always make sure when you sign on that you check that little box next to where you type in your PC name. Also, sometimes what has happened to me is I accidently have hit a key that takes away what I was typing. I found that if I hit my arrow on the top of my computer located next , hit the arrow on the right, not the bigger left arrow, I can get back to where I had been posting and it is still there. So, don't panic next time and try that you may have to click on it more than once. But, always check that box next to your PC name when you sign in or else you can lose long posts ok? I am so sorry that happened, I know how upsetting that can be.

(((Very caring Hugs)))
OE