Trinta
I am not in a position to advise you. I was very sorry to read of your experience given the lenght of your marriage as well. My spouse changed over night as well.
I gave him distance & started concentrating on myself - never revealing when I was most saddened. I take a walk, lost some weight and thinking about what I wish for myself. Have been homemaker, so personal identity is useless. I will send link to you as I do not want to 'cross post ' here.