talulah i have taken so much from this thread. its been invaluable. ive actually truthfully taken notes on what you ve said so i have pertinent questions to ask T next week to hopefully truthfully deepen our relationship. ive been having a lot of trouble (and i mean a LOT) relating truthfully the emotions ive been having to T but with your thoughts i at least have a vocabulary to put my own feelings into words with. you have been endlessly helpful. so thank you so much. and i hope you continue to have this sort of success with your T!