(Not officially diagnosed with this).

It makes me a lot more hesitant in the things I do, and it's very easy for me to withdraw. I don't stand up for myself, and I've lost a lot of potential friendships by not being able to be assertive. In relationships, I can't voice my wants and desires and I can't express it when I don't want to do something - so I go along with what others want from me.

The hardest thing for me is to be doing something where I would be the centre of attention - when it's about me. I can actually talk in front of a crowd of people and be fine - so long as I'm not talking about me and whatever it is isn't ABOUT me (for example... I just hosted a trivia night in front of a large group of people. I had no problem with that because I wasn't talking about myself.) So... sexual relationships can be difficult for me, because I can't handle when all the attention is on me. I can't do things like birthdays for myself, I have a really hard time to make and go to appointments... I can't go to the gym because I'll feel like I'm being watched, even though realistically I know that no one would even notice me.

I also have a really, really, hard time with the concept that I'm a good person. I can list off all sorts of proofs that I am, but I still can't make myself BELIEVE that I am. I very much believe that everyone is better than I am and that I'm worthless. Nothing seems to lessen that, even though I wish it wasn't true and can list off reasons why I shouldn't believe it. I'm not even sure if that makes sense.