I'm sorry I wish I knew what to say... I'll still give it a go though

I know how lonely this gets, I'm the only bp'er I know, so besides online friends I really don't have any support people in place who are "in the know" regarding bipolar...

I mean I have a pdoc, who's book smart and seems mostly intelligent, but he clearly doesn't "know" what he's talking about. And I have a T, who would have been a really great T if he was actually smarter than me, and if I didn't intelectually intimidate him. (His own confession lol)

They are the people who are closest to getting it in my life.

What I've been trying though is to recognize AND value the type support that IS made available to me. It may not be exactly what I wanted, but its given freely and with love.

For example, I have a friend, a best friend, who just doesn't have a clue. I mean she gets me, we've grown up together, but she doesn't get the stuff I go through. Even so, she will come over, make me a cup of coffee, and let me just cry all over her uniform before she even goes to work in the morning.

Then there's mom, poor woman doesn't even know how to give a hug, but when she sees I'm not doing well, she'll voluntarily help me with mommy chores so I have less on my plate.

Also there's bf and brother, masters at distraction and know just when "pushing" may help me get out of my own head...

None of these people "get" what I endure, and I really didn't know I would ramble this much, but what I'm trying to say is; I'm alone with this beast too, nobody gets it, but I do try to be grateful for the ways they try to be there for me even though their hands are tied by their blameless ignorance.

Your hubby may need some eye opening education so that he can find a way to be there for you. Nothing like a rude awakening from your very own head doctors... idk just a suggestion.