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Psyclox said:
Ieven after she tore our friendship apart and my hart and even though I tried to forget her and get on with my life I still love her more than ever before.

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Is it love or codependency or hormones?

Please don't read that question as a snide effort to belittle your very strong feelings. I have suffered, too. Along the way, I had to learn that feelings I associated with being in love with nonreciprocal men who were not good for me. Sometimes our emotional wires get crossed for a host of reasons, often dating back to our dysfunctional childhoods, and some of us develop strange ideas about what constitutes and an exciting relationship and mistake love for other strong feelings.

Perhaps your tangled history is something to reflect upon.

I am so sorry that you are hurting so much.