Hi Jade --

As I just posted in another thread in relationships, some of us have to do some serious sorting through our emotions. I, too, was attracted to guys who pulled this kind of stuff. I thought it was "exciting" that they were independent, attractive to other women, blah, blah.

Mostly, I had to learn healthier ideas about love than the ones I had. It was not an overnight process.

I had what I thought was a healthy, loving relationship for 15 years. When he abruptly left, my abandonment and trust issues kicked in. So now I'm dealing with stuff again.

Still, 15 peaceful years was nice long run, and I couldn't have had those if I hadn't done a lot of work on myself.

Maybe I'm misreading what's going on between you and this man, but he sounds like a bad bet for a stable, loving relationship. But what do I know? I don't know you or him or really, much about anything . . .

Good luck figuring it out. We are here for you.