I completely get that thought of wanting to be OFF everything, that you feel better that way.

St John's Wort is a temporary fix in my opinion. I found it helpful short term when I was taking nothing. I also used the time I was on it to try something else; intense exercise to get the natural endorphin high that comes with it.

That seemed to be the very best way for me to control the super swirl (down the drain) that I was having without the exercise.

I dunno if that is something that appeals to you but it might pull you up a little, just enough to push through it....

Best to you and thanks for sharing