Bipolar people have a multitude of levels that they have to deal with. Not only do they get crazy and mixed up and symptomatic themselves and inside their head, but they have to try to behave normally around other people, maybe maintain their job, keep up with their children if they have them, be a good partner to their sig, and so on.

It manifests differently in every person, not one size fits all. So your question as to why she doesn't contact you is probably because she already feels horrid because she realizes her behaviour (that she may have had little control over) is the cause of the loss and its just embarassing and often makes you feel worse.

This disorder is very hard for everyone involved with in the person's life to manage.