Nowdays, it is all up for grabs...and since the bride is not open to alternatives, then the two of them will have to make do somehow... you don't HAVE to pay for anything, btw... It is an offer to pay for the wedding party dinner etc. But it is often that the couple makes their own plans and goes into debt for it. You can make an offer in the form of a check and say that's all you can do. Don't over give, for that makes for ill feelings on your part when they share that it isn't enough. This doesn't have a good sound from the get go... sure hope it works out. Let's say you know it won't, NOW how much do you want to contribute? TC and good wishes.