Quote:
Originally Posted by Readytostop
Oh that is very possible but i dont want to have a T who makes off the cuff remarks....how will I know which are sincere and which arent?
Also isnt there a saying about things said in jest are usually meant to be truth....
I spent my whole life having to interpret comments, intentions and motives of a dysfunctional family.... I want a T who says what they mean and mean what they say...and i am not a serious stick in the mud....I dont think I've had but one or two sessions in the last 3 years were my Ts and I didnt laugh....
I dont think this is the right T for me. I will give some thought to what to do but not starting therapy again for atleast a couple of months.
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Well, this therapist isn't your dysfunctional family right? Of course you had to interpret what they said, but those days are over correct? They may feel very much not over, but they are.
The people around you are not your family. People make off the cuff remarks, and I think they have a right to do so. The person in front of me didn't hurt me. My family did. Different people.
Odds are, the person in front of me hold intentions that are wholly benign, if not outright supportive. Am I so fragile that it has to be put to me in a certain way?
It's a real stretch to extend to others the right to be themselves, and accept and tolerate that, in our eyes, they may not be perfect, but this imperfection is not there to hurt us.
After a lot of years of reflection and more than a little projection on my part, I've learned that the person in front of me is the person in front of me. They will never ever be fully versed in all of the things that upset me and can never NOT do them.
It's unfair of me to ask them that.
It's unfair that doing that might keep me from a truly wonderful and meaningful relationship.
In the end, it's a trade off that's more than worth it.