I still long to feel his skin, to make love to him, to kiss him...

is this not love? sounds like love to me, sounds like your having issues with anxiety and the embarrassment of him, but in the same breathe (as you did with love) you make sound like your proud of him talking about marriage and kids, and paint him as a hero

you sound confused, I think your really over thinking this, you need to look into why? if you already have a therapist I think this would be a great discussion.