I understand. But hun you are the only one that can help yourself. You know what I mean? If you keep doing the same thing then nothing changes. You see you've got to push yourself out on that limb and be strong and brave. You've got to muster up the courage to try a different way in order to get better results. Know what I'm saying?
It might be the hardest thing you do but trying a different way in order to make a better life for yourself would be very much worth it. You deserve it Newtus