I got up this morning in one of my weird moods. Paced around the flat, had an argument with myself, swore at nothing and giggled repeatedly, SI'd several times, got into a tizzy, sat on the sofa with my head in my hands, picked up a plushie, forgot why I picked the damn thing up and got frustrated with the voices in my head. I'm in a really weird state of mind and cannot function properly today it seems. So, I phoned in sick at the library. I'm no use to anyone like this. Well my doctor visit went okay. I answered all of his questions. He kept trying to convince me that it's all in my head and that it's just a part of some illness is what goes on everyday. He expressed quite a lot of worry, shocked by the number of fresh wounds on my wrist and was keen to put me on medication. He told me what it's for. It's to make the voices go quiet. But he didn't want me on too high of a dosage so I'm only on 1mg of Risperidone. The one thing that irks me is, he hasn't told me what the hell is actually wrong with me. All I know is that I'm mentally ill and I need my mental health team's help.