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Old May 06, 2014, 07:47 AM
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brainhi brainhi is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Southeast United States
Posts: 1,107
Quote:
Originally Posted by lido78 View Post
Yes, there were ongoing problems in the relationship, but I had chalked most of them up to problems he was having with his business and his family. Most any fight we had started there...so, it was not as if it was a perfect relationship...but I thought that any problems we had would improve as things improved with his business or family stuff.

As far a showing up drunk, I actually don't recall even wanting to confront him...I'm not a big drinker but had way too much one evening with a neighbor (who had asked about the relationship)...to be honest, I don't even remember going to his house...just the actual conversation itself. Of course, being drunk is no excuse and that is the entire reason I even consider apologizing. I just wouldn't have done it that way had I been in better control. If I had been less intoxicated or totally sober, I never would have gone to his house or brought myself down to his level. In fact, up to that point, I'd been content knowing I'd handled myself well given his behavior. So yeah, I'm pretty disappointed in myself.

In terms of leaving him alone. Yes, totally. Since going to his house, I've unfriended him (as well as his brother) on Facebook and deleted him from my phone. I won't ever reach out to him again. It is what is best for all concerned.
Take good care of yourself. Cutting someone off and losing them from your life is very difficult. It sounds like you are handling it very well...no one handles a difficult situation perfectly. No need to beat yourself up.
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany

“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge