oh sweetie..

I am so sorry you had to go thourgh that..
but one thing you have to remember you could not have stoped him.. HE DID THAT not you..
Understand someone that does that does it for a reason..
He needs help.. you did the right thing by calling 911...
Trust in what you have did for him, now and forever..
you love him, do what is best, get him the help that he needs. be there for him, but you can not baby, him, now..

Most of all, be strong.. Do not be what he wants .. He has a mom, she has to be that.. you need to be a friend.. that is all you can be right now.. do that and nothing more.. or be a spritual healer if you think you are up for that..

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take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better