You have described much of my life. I was considered "high functioning" because I could hold down a job. All I did was work and sleep. For many years i did manage to always go to therapy and was real involved in AA for a long time. I did all those things because I thought they would help me and they have, but it got harder and harder. The number of friends I had slowly went down. I never cleaned my house. Work and sleep was often all I could do. This doesn't even count the periods of severe depression. this is just my normal mild to moderate. It has gotten much worse as I have gotten older. All the meds and all the therapy and AA and Alanon and meditation and on and on have helped me a great deal and I am grateful, but they haven't cured me. If fact as I have said it has gotten worse in the last five years. I am 50.

So there is a lot to be said for accepting the hand life has dealt you. Surrender and acceptance is a paradox because it actually helps a lot. Some things we have no power to change. I can't change what others do and say, just one example. I have not been in a relationship in over ten years. I had a family and daughter but got divorced so lost it. My daughter is 21.

Surrender and acceptance are powerful tools. It doesn't mean that we give up hope or stop trying. I would very much like to be in a relationship again and it may happen. Don't ever stop trying anything that might help. But accepting, honoring, finding meaning and purpose in our suffering are powerful allies.