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See a psychiatrist. Sounds like some past issues and symptoms.
My whole life ever since 7th grade (as a little kid I was very happy) I have never really experienced things in a joyful or happy way. There have been times of extreme joy and happiness but those are fleeting and rare. It is just my personality or my all the time mild to moderately depressed self. I am very passionate about a lot of things and they bring me satisfaction but not joy. I go for contentment and peace and serenity. I am ok with that when I have it.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman
Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.
Male, 50
Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
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