I am a only child and my father who I was very close to died suddenly when I was 13. I was devastated. My mom has 8 brothers and sisters and the 2 that live in NY where I grew up had children my age. We grew up like brothers and sisters but after my father died I distanced myself and felt angry and very different from them. They no longer understood me and never realized the pain I couldn't even talk about. I moved to Florida at 17 and lived with my boyfriend, who became my husband. It was a very verbally abusive relationship and it took me a long time to get my confidence back. Well I started to take adhd meds for energy and did not realize what they were doing to me. After moving back to NY I started hearing whispers in my head of people wanting to kill me. I feared for my life. I see a psychologist and was put on meds Klonopin 2mg 4x a day and Latuda. I still feel weird things in my body and feel voices or people. They lie to me and chip away at me. After 5 years of this I am very angry and I guess depressed. I need more help then what im getting. I don't take my anger out on anyone I just wait for it to pass but it is a overwhelming feeling.