Sorry to hear you're in such a difficult position, and that your son is having a hard time of it.

I agree with what nowheretohide said about not all psychiatrists having a great understanding of ASDs. I saw my first psychiatrist at just 12 years old, since then I've seen a total of 5 over the years (I'm now 28). I was given diagnoses of depression, anxiety, anger management issues, dysthymia, etc etc. But not one of them ever mentioned Aspergers, until my most recent psychiatrist who happened to have a special interest in ASDs.

Throughout my teens I was put onto numerous anti-depressants and never felt any benefit from them at all. I kept trying to tell them that I didn't really feel 'depressed' all the time, I just often felt isolated and down because I found it so hard to fit in with people my own age. None of them ever understood me and I struggled to understand them. To be fair though, I've always found it hard to tell what it is I'm feeling, and even harder is putting that into words to explain to somebody else (ironically, that's a common symptom of ASDs).

With the latests PDoc, she spoke to me for a little over an hour and suggested that she thought ASD was a strong possibility for most of my issues. She then referred me to a specialist clinic for diagnosis, and they confirmed her suspicions. That was a huge turning point for me, after years of feeling like I was as well talking to myself somebody eventually listened to me and understood what I was saying. I wasn't just crazy.

Also, what nowheretohide said about looking back at his childhood is a very good idea. We hadn't really thought about my childhood much until I was undergoing the diagnosis but when we did, a lot of it started to make sense. Even as a very young child I had a need for routines and structure, I was also very prone to 'meltdowns' if these were somehow altered. My mum used to hate having to get me ready for school in the mornings because if anything went wrong (the right sock went on before the left sock, or we didn't have "my" cereal in etc) then I would start hitting my head and screaming then run back to my bed and had to 'start again' so things went right. At the time she just thought I was being a 'little brat', but speaking about it now with her I have been able to explain to her that the way I felt back then is exactly how I feel about these things now, it's like the world is imploding in my brain and everything just becomes too much. Every sound is heightened, my body tingles and I feel like I need to run away or lash out. I now understand that this happens because a meltdown triggers the 'fight or flight' response.

I would do what nowheretohide suggested and try to find out if you can get him into see a PDoc who has a good understanding of ASDs. It could be of great benefit to you both. Good luck.