Ok, firstly, idk this girl and I'm not taking her part, but I would just like to say that having sex with 2 men does not a slut make. Slut is such a shameful and judgemental word anyway, and I don't appreciate it being thrown around, at us women, especially when directed at people who are not present to defend themselves.

Secondly, is it AT ALL possible your bf's band ACTUALLY makes GOOD music and that she enjoys it???

Hmmm, maybe that's why people go to watch them? and not for the sole purpose of trying to steal your bf...

Ok, since I've got that out of the way....

Its nice that your bf is so open and honest with you, its endearing really, (or maybe he's just scared shytless of your rage? who knows) nevertheless, transparancy is mostly a GOOD thing, but I am a believer in moderation (too much of anything is bad for you) and would have preferred not to know about a girl chasing my ex whom I still very much want back.

I mean, what good does knowing do?
He's not ,my bf, so essentially it's none of my business (even though it feels like it is), they never slept together( so no chance of me getting STD's when we get back together), so YTF do I need to know something that will only drive me nuts and in reality didn't even affect me directly?

Point made? I hope so, I'm not saying my way is right, just trying to get you to see why I would have preffered something different.

Now the anger issue.

Anger is very familiar to me, like a favourite childhood blankie I never (fully) outgrew.
It comes natural, it comes easy, and it fits nice. Anger and I are no strangers.

That being said, its not just because its familiar, like an old bad habit, but because I've aquainted myself with it and gotten to know my own anger very well.

Well I had to, I mean I'm just much too pretty for jail, and knowledge is power!

Ace, incase nobody has informed you yet, anger is a secondary emotion, its like a sub-emotion, if you will.

The best way to deal with anger and learn to manage it, is to learn to identify the actual emotions behind the anger. When we deal with the emotion that triggers it, then with practice it can become easier to diffuse.

For example, sadness, hurt and feeling betrayed (I mention "feeling" because it could be perceived betrayal) leads me to feeling an intense level of anger. Insecurity used to fuel jealousy, which sparked anger too in the past for me.

See, there's always a feeling behind what made you angry.

So, with that in mind I suggest the following....

Think about this girl, and all the others whom you want to disfigure, and identify what is it about them that gets you to react. What is your core emotional response, that these women provoke, and then you will get to the root of your anger.

Most people will go ahead and tell you it's insecurity or whatnot, but I urge you to question the WHY.

So even if you find they do provoke feelings of insecurity, WHY, what about them makes YOU feel inferior?... etc

That way when you get to the WHY, you can discuss with your BF and he can squash whatever fears or feelings come up for you, which will hopefully help you move forward from this.

Anger is comfortable, but it's heavy, its expensive and not to mention dangerous.

If my above suggestions aren't welcomed or viable, I kindly urge you to seek professional help, maybe an Anger Managament course or something similar will be useful to you.