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Old May 06, 2014, 12:01 PM
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trying2survive trying2survive is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: northeast ohio
Posts: 1,085
Quote:
Originally Posted by ace333 View Post
i was wondering if anyone can help me out. so for the background information, during a point in my relationship my boyfriend left me for about a month, but we got back together, however during this month he told me about this girl whom was trying to hit on and get with him. nothing happened between them, he wanted me back and now we are back together. he seemed/ still seems to want to prove his innocence, he tells me nothing happened, he told her to leave him alone he wasn't into sluts and it was never going to happen. he has shown me/ given me all his social meida passwords, lets me see his phone ( not that i ask). and it all points to him telling the truth that nothing happened. but for some reason i don't beleieve him. it causes me to have uncontrollable rage to even think this slut even talked to him and im extremely jealous anyways, a fact hes known our whole relationship and him being in a band doesn't help. also the fact that hes in a band and he knew this girl through friends growing up makes it harder it deal with...she shows up to to shows when he plays and other things becasue of the mutal friends. everytime i see her i want to beat the H**l out of her and make sure she never comes around again, even though shes never really done anything personally to me. my boyfriend ignores her and avoid her at all costs out in public, but she'll still try to wave or say hi to him...whihc i don't understand why you would show up or try to talk to someone after they call you out on being a slut? can she not take a hint?

like i said before anytime i think about it ( which has been progressivly more and more) or see this person, i get into a horrible rage and want to react violently, though i never do. is there anything i can do to stop feeling this way? i feel like a bad person at times but then other times i feel justified in feeling like this not sure which is right
ace..it sounds to me like the both of you are playing immature head games with each other to test each other's love for one another..guys this needs to stop. the both of you are going to wind up really hurt if you guys continue this behavior..love is not about jealousy..jealousy is about insecurity, it appears to me the both of you are insecure and i assume this appears to be coming from past trauma from previous relationships. trust loyalty and respect are keys to a healthy relationship.

right now i cannot say that i believe you guys have a whole lot of either.

you guys need to take the time to explain to each other ( in a calm manner)
how you feel when these things occur & how to address these issues.
it appears that he has taken great effort to prove nothing happened..but i suspect he may have gotten a rise out of making you jealous..this is a dangerous game he is playing and if it continues this is not going to end well.

do yourself a favor, don't let this woman upset you..by letting her upset you you give her power over your emotions. if you believe him and trust him i wouldn't be concerned about her.."keep your house in order" so to speak
and you will have little to worry about if you know you are doing what you are supposed to, he has no reason to run to this other woman.
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
Thanks for this!
ace333, Trippin2.0