yeah you can't really help people until they see that they have a problem and want to change---sometimes its best to limit the amount of time you spend with people like that. I had to do this with my dad because he would just drink all the time and become more violent and angry when drinking....these days he drinks a lot less around me because he knows I'll just cut him out if he does it---he still goes to the bar though but he'll limit himself to maybe two drinks when I'm around but its still high when I'm not there...so he didn't change the behavior but he learned to change it around me...