The very nature of bipolar is that our moods shift and we almost become different people. Then after the shifts or as a result of medications, we really aren't quite like we were before. I mean our basic self is the same of course, but how we view and feel about things changes.

You sound like you have been trying so very hard. Maybe back off some. Send her flowers instead of demanding she talk to you??? Write her letters? But you can't make someone feel or behave in a way they don't want to. I wish you luck and my heart goes out to you both.