Recently I have decided that I need a little bit of outside support and advice - and, of course, it involves someone else.
About 7 months ago I started dating a man. He and I decided to take it very slowly so that we could build a solid foundation and really get to know each other. Step by step we dated a couple of months and then agreed to an exclusive relationship.
Three months into our relationship he took a new job, in addition to his current part time job. And the new job involves a LONG commute (70 miles each way). So he works about 45 hours at one job, 20 hours at the other job and spends about 15 hours a week commuting. Plus he is the single father to a teen son. A VERY BUSY MAN!
With all of that going on, he still made time for me 2-3 evenings a week. After about 4 months he started having me stay at his house and he even cleaned out a drawer for me to keep my overnight things.
After 6 months we took a vacation together for 10 days. It was really easy to travel together and we had a good time. We returned about 4 weeks ago.
Since our return it feels like the wheels are really coming off the bus with him. He says he loves me, he says he misses me, but he says that he is just completely overwhelmed and exhausted and any time that he does has he feels like he should spend with his son. He says he has a lot of guilt about not being there for his son, for me or for anyone. He told me that in about 3 weeks he will end the 20 hour part time job and then he hopes to have some time.
I told him that I understood completely, he has a very full plate and it is a tough balancing act that he is trying to pull off. I said that I felt that his time with his son should be the priority and that I understood that we just might have to try to make it through the next 3 weeks with a bit of communication and snippets of time if any come up....I just expected him to touch base each day with a call, text or e-mail. I explained that I am very "verbal" person and I need words of love and reassurance if I cannot physically be near him.
Here are my questions:
1) He balanced his crazy schedule all before our vacation - and only seems to have run into problems now that we are back. Did the vacation trigger something that made him feel we don't have to spend as much time together?
2) Is he possibly trying to get out of the relationship - even though he has said that he wants to stay together and work through this?
3) He keeps trying to give me money for car repairs - Why?
4) I just want opinions, insight, into whether this man is invested in the relationship and overwhelmed, or if he is trying to do the slow fade out?
HELP! How do I handle this?
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