^^bottles because it can cause tooth decay, as told by pediatricians. Sippy cups, I think, if I recall, until 3?

Agree, when children do, get physically aggressive, best to not mimic that, trying to think how I handle it..it involves 'we don't hit, we don't kick, we don't pinch, no, no, no...it's ok I think, to grab wrist and bring down to their sides. with a no...

I, stopped playing the food game, myself. If ask for something, it is placed on the counter, for them to grab, when ready.

No, I feel you are not a wicked stepmum, what an amazing heart to take under your wing a child that has had such a tough go at it, already. And to have the patience for the tantrums. It can be exhausting, but each day can bring both beauty and well, exhaustion.