I sometimes say and do things when I'm manic that I would never say or do when I'm "normal". That's pretty common in folks with BP. And I think it's safe to say that most of us feel bad when we come down and see the damage we've done to our relationships. We also tend to have memory blackouts, not unlike those seen in people who abuse alcohol, so we don't always know what we've done until we come out of it and someone tells us.