Thank you magicsmom , I think your right, she is trying to push me away thinking that I am going to leave her bit that is where she is so wrong. The girl I fell in love with is still inside there somewhere,I just have to be patient and let time take it's course..as for tried talking to her, she won't talk to me at the moment incase she treats me with hostility. I totally understand that & I respect whatever she wants & will stand by and support her I. Any way possible. She communicates to me through a third party,she is in the rehabilitation stages of coming out of a clinic, their getting her ready to come back into society. She was a dependant self sufficient person when I met her, now she has no value of money, when she goes on a manic episode she goes on spending sprees, she is type 2 so it's dangerous when she goes on a high.. She dosent get so much depressed,she just can't cope with life on life's terms..there are seriously deep routes issues with her that I'm not prepared to talk about on here. Somthing so bad happened 2 years ago she went Into a clinc where she had cognitive therapy, that opened up doors in her mind that shouldn't have been touched. And that is making her seriously struggle with life..she was such a nice Loving ,caring, happy go lucky girl when we first met she was everything I could ask for & more. She still is now but seems to think that she isn't,I loved her then & I love her now. I always will regardless of this terrible Illness.. She needs to realise that..she has gone so insecure and has such wild thoughts about me I really don't know where their coming from as I wouldn't DREAM of leaving her.. Infact I would die for her, I would swap places in a heartbeat if I could just so she could be happy again and not afraid..the only way she willies me is if I die & that isn't happening anytime soon."TOUCH WOOD" as I'm only 35.. She has a good life, a loyal fiancé own home all waiting for her, but she is so scared she will lose me she would rather keep away from me if that makes any sence?,, she loves me & Iove her but the longer she don't speak to me the harder it's going to get for her. We are both hurting inside due to being appart. Both of us have a dull ache in our chest, and that can be solved if we are together.. I don't understand it? It feels as if iv done so thing wrong but all iv done is love. & support her.. I miss her so much it is horrible.. I even feel it inside when she's having a bad day or when she's hurting that is how close we were /are.. we are eachothers first love aswel which makes being apart even harder.. What can I do to reassure her?? Pease help, I sometimes cry myself to sleep, then the day after I get told that she also cried herself to sleep." Even though were apart "temporarily" we feel eachothers pain. It is TOTALY unbelievable unless you see it for yourself..I didn't think it was possible for things like this to happen. I get the odd glimpse of the old her but it's gone as fast as it comes..she needs to accept she's ill maybe that will help her? Rather than trying to fight it.. Sorry if iv gone on but it is ongoing & I haven't spoken to anyone about it.. Thank you

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