I have realized I get rather self destructive when the PTSD symptoms really hit me. I stop caring about my wellbeing and just want to get sucked into it...even though I don't. I just don't know but I know when I feel vulnderable and have flashbacks I just want it to end....don't know what to do. Want some of a social life so I try go get out here and there to meet people but always afraid they will judge me for having issues....just dont know how to keep living like this the only conclusoins I can come to still involve living a ****** life because I am ****ed in the head.