To give some background: I've been in Cognitive Behavioral therapy for 7 years. I've been through a few different psychiatrists and psychologists, but I have one of the "better" psychologists in the area. I was diagnosed with BDD, OCD and social anxiety. My ocd started out with a body obsession, then seemed to continually move through different things. After a while I started to take notice to how my identity and existence was split into two, when I was really one entity. My "ocd" was me and I am not really separate from that. Despite describing it as some different voice or drive in my consciousness, "OCD" is really just a description of people who have similar behaviors and thoughts. I've come to the point where I can step back and see how completely mad some of my thougts and obsessions are, while others seem more like ambition than anything else. The best things in this world created by humans are through consistent hard work and perfection. Some would say to the point of "obsession". I feel like I can't approach creativity in the right way anymore; or more directly put like I'm not right in trying to pursue a certain thought or sequence of thoughts. I've read about some writers in the past (Emily Dickinson for example) who are likely candidates for OCD. Had they spent their time trying to address OCD with therapists instead of perfecting their craft would they be as good as they were as writers? I sometimes read about modern writers who have OCD and have agreed with therapy...sometimes they begin to only write and care about OCD. It seems the whole therapy process pulls a person into some kind of whirlpool where they no longer trust their own thoughts and desires and instead waste their time continually with trying to "quell" ocd. Their writing becomes banal and constricted in subject; and it brings me to the insanity inherent in psychology. If we continually try to make every person "normal" and "happy" what then happens to the great humans who fall to the darkest depths and travel into the deepest parts of our emotional consciousness? I feel like the brainwashing process has gone on long enough in my life, but i'm left with a permanent scar from "therapy". I hate this feeling of revenge, but I can't ignore it. Its always their and my therapist's words reside in my mind as a ghost I cannot get rid of. I feel like I've been robbed of my poetic justification as a human. I apologize for the long winded post, but there must be some honest souls out there who resonate with my state...the labeling of "disorder" must invoke ire in the personhood of others here.